When your loved one is sick or in the hospital, facebook is a wonderful method to spread the news to friends and relatives. Then it is interesting to view the different responses you receive.
- "Just call me if you need anything."
If a friend wants to help, be specific. "I'm going shopping. Give me a grocery list." "Mom would enjoy a visitor to read to her. Would you be available on a bi-weekly basis?"
- "You are doing a great job! You know God doesn't give you anymore than you can handle."
Thank you for the compliment. Please do not tell me God doesn't give me anymore than I can handle because right now I do not feel that way. My mother is very weak and ill. There are days I wonder if I am doing everything for her. I would appreciate one evening of respite time each week.
- "I just don't know how you do it all - taking care of your mother, and your family. Must have a great husband."
In order to care for my mother, it takes a joint effort by my entire family. We all work together and support each other. I hope I am setting an example for my children how to care and respect people when they are not able to care for themselves. And yes, I do have a wonderful husband.
- "I know how you feel."
How could you possibly know how I feel? That reminds me when a person tells a friend who is grieving the loss of their loved one the same phrase. I don't always know how I feel because it may change from moment-to-moment and day-to-day depending on the circumstances. Say to me, "Just talk. I'm here to listen."
- "Must be hard to care for your mom and keep your job. Hope your employer understands."
At times it is exhausting. I go the my mother's house 3 days a week for several hours and the same on the weekend. I usually take off a couple days a month for mom's appointments. My supervisor is very compassionate. She has a mother with needs but she shares the care with her sister. I love my mother and caring for her is an honor. It's my way of thanking her for the many things she has done for me. You are considerate to be concerned. It would be great if you would help with making a couple meals each week.
When people respond with these or similar types of messages, they are most likely concerned. Respond in kind and think of ways they can help you. And then thank them for thinking about you and your loved one.
