tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45468671678642597562024-02-18T22:57:39.248-08:00 Designated Caregiver Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-48468663094230635012014-11-11T21:06:00.001-08:002014-11-11T21:08:02.039-08:00Laughter and Emotional Wellbeing<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Laughter is the universal language of joyful living. When laughing together,<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">we contribute to our good as individuals and as a collective whole.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">According to Douglas Smith, American’s leading hospice expert, young children laugh <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>400 times a day</u></b> while adults barely pour out 15 chuckles! What an unfortunate contrast. As adults, we need to take some lessons from children. Of course, we should not live our life in a fantasy world as children do when they play, rather we should be enjoy our lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In order to develop a sense of humor, we need to take ourselves less seriously. We were born with this tremendous gift. Somewhere along the way it is shelved for all the other responsibilities we face. Laughter is strong medicine for the mind and body, and our health. It helps us to relax our body, relieve tension and stress. When we laugh, we feel cheerful. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When we laugh with another person, a positive connection is established. Consider how we could improve our relationships if we concentrated on laughter with our loved one. If your spouse is having a rough day, bring home a light-hearted, humorous movie along a pizza or his favorite carry-out and enjoy time together. Not only will you have an enjoyable evening together, it will help emotional wellbeing. If your loved one likes to play board games, stop by with a game and homemade meal. While you’re playing the game, talk about enjoyable stories from her past. Then share dinner. What a great way to brighten your mother’s day, and you left feeling upbeat about your visit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In 1995 Madan Kataria, M.D., started a Laughter Club in New Delhi after researching the benefits of a good “giggle”. He combined several yoga stretches while encouraging people to laugh for “no reason at all”. He has over 1800 individuals in India alone in his club along with 700 clubs throughout the world. He practiced general medicine prior to pursuing the Laughter Club. He explains people do not need doctors to tell them what is good for them because they already know. Laughter cannot solve your problems but it can dissolve them. Try it. You may feel uncomfortable at first because it is ‘so out of your comfort zone’ but it has worked for me. I do it at home or around friends. If my mother is down, I will laugh to cheer her up. It takes a while and normally works. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As caregivers, we have a higher risk of health and emotional problems because we tend to take care of our loved ones and ignore ourselves. We may feel like our responsibility is first to our loved one, but if we do not take care of ourselves, we will not be able to care for our loved one. We need to learn to how arrange our tasks as a caregiver for our health. It will help us to be a better caregiver. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ten Tips for Caregivers from the National Family Caregivers Association:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Choose to take charge of your life, and don’t let your loved one’s condition always take center stage.</span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Remember to be good to yourself. Love, honor, and value yourself. You’re doing a very hard job and you deserve some quality time, for you.</span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Watch for signs of depression, and don’t delay in getting professional help when you need it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When people offer to help, accept the offer and suggest specific things they can do.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Educate yourself about your loved one’s conditions.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There’s a difference between caring and doing. Be open to new technologies and ideas that promote your loved one’s independence and help you do your job easier. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Trust your instincts. Most of the time they’ll lead you in the right direction.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Grieve for your losses and then allow yourself to dream new dreams.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Stand up for your rights as a caregiver and as a citizen.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Seek support from other caregivers. There is great strength in know that you are not alone.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whether you prefer to attend a local support group or online one, they can be very beneficial for caregivers. However if you are feeling uneasy or skeptical about going to a community one or participating with an online group, try it three times. Then you have given it a fair chance. Also, if you have more than one group in your community, try that one. You may have more in common with the second group. There are multiple online groups. If one doesn’t work, try another that suits your needs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Benefits of Joining a Caregiver Support Group –<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A safe haven for sharing feelings in a non-judgmental atmosphere<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A social outlet where you can make friends<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span><br />
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Information about products<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A place to learn coping mechanisms<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Advice from others<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Support for emotional wellbeing – letting you know you are not alone with this journey of caregiving<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Helping in dealing with family issues<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Caring from others who understand what you are going through<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To find groups on the Internet search - <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">“Online Caregiver Support Groups”</b> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The following are some online support groups:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Caregiver.com magazine<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">CareGiving.com<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Family Giver Alliance – National Center on Caregiver<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Exercise is a wonderful way to lift your spirits and increase energy. Start slowly and build up. If you have chronic medical conditions or have not worked out, meet with your doctor for a medical evaluation. Consider joining a fitness center and hiring a trainer for a few sessions to learn a plan tailored for you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some fitness centers offer the services of a trainer included with the cost of the monthly fee. Look around your community for fitness centers that offer the best deals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guilt drains of us of energy and confidence. It can be an extremely heavy burden to carry. If you are a person who carries guilt, start writing them in a notebook. Then take a marker, and cross each one by one saying “Guilt no longer has power over me.” Continue the pattern until you have given yourself permission to rid yourself of guilt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As caregivers, our wellbeing is important. When we take care of ourselves and enjoy a good laugh, we are better equipped to care for our loved ones both physically and emotionally. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Laughter is the universal language of joyful living. When laughing together, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">we contribute to our good as individuals and as a collective whole.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Laughter is a great dose of medicine!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong><em>PEOPLE WHO LAUGH, HELP BRING </em></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong><em>JOY AND WELLBEING TO THE WORLD!!!</em></strong></span></div>
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Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-39950080224340260552014-11-11T20:30:00.000-08:002014-11-11T20:30:16.516-08:00Taking Care of the Caregiver <br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>Cecelia
Salamone, M.<span style="text-transform: uppercase;">A., LPC</span></em></span></span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>Reach for a Rainbow Caregiving</em></span></span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: 11pt;">A
Prayer for the Caregiver </span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: 11pt;">By
Bruce McIntrye </span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Unknown
and often unnoticed, you are a hero nonetheless, </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">For
your love, sacrificial, is God at his best,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">You
walk by faith in the darkness of the great unknown, </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">And
your courage, even in weakness, gives life to your beloved.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">You are
resilient, amazing, and beauty unexcelled, </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">You
are the caregiver and you have done well! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></div>
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Caregivers, you deserve recognition for your
tremendous contribution to families and society. You are the silent heroes and
heroines. In order to give the best care possible to your loved one, you must
take care of your needs. So often, caregivers take a backseat to the
wants of the care recipient - this may work for a short term but not for
the long run. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Learn to be proactive. Caregiving is a
delicate balancing act so you need to continuously be prepared. What are
some practical methods?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Use a 'Sphere of Influence' - You care
for your parent, friend, or spouse, from a sphere of influence. The people who
influence your loved one may be you, your sister and her husband. You
have influence from - your husband, children, the family’s internist and minister.
As you continue to care for your loved one, you obtain knowledge and
the sphere carries on. Consider all the people who gain and share
resources information with you and the individuals in this group. Consider
using your 'sphere of influence' and then passing it along. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Want to relieve tension? Sit in a rocking
chair and rock away your troubles. Long standing tradition for people to
rock babies in their arms to console them. My grandmother spent countless
afternoons relaxing in her rocking chair.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Exercise lifts your spirits and
energy. Start off slow and increase gradually moving to an amount of time that
is comfortable. However, consider meeting with your doctor for an
evaluation prior to starting an exercise routine. Also if you are new to
exercising, consider hiring an exercise coach to develop a plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Open up the blinds in the morning and
switch on lights. Light helps us feel more alert than dark. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Eat healthy breakfasts high in fiber,
fruits, and vegetables. Avoid fat-free because some people crave more food
after eating fat-free rather than choosing low-fat. Stay away from fast food.
If you do go, check calorie content prior to ordering. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Comfort foods may taste good - they
decrease stamina. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Respite is not a gift. Learn to ask others
for help. If you do not have anyone, develop a plan. Even if you find
someone for two hours every other week, it’s a start.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Stay connected by calling friends and
family on a consistent basis. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Other caregivers understand. They have
similar experiences. Join a support group - whether it is one in your
community, online or both.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- If you start feeling depressed, seek out
professional help. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Some places of worship have programs
and also people you can talk with. With many, you do not need to be a
member to participate.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Maintain physical health with medical and
dental appointments. Take medications and supplements as recommended by your
health care provided.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Contact Area Agency on Aging - learn about
services in your community. Look for local resources for caregivers. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Consider Adult Day Care Centers and
In-Home Caregivers. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Take warm baths. Or go in a room,
close the door and read or listen to music for 20-30 minutes each day
or several times a week.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Find something that brings you peace-
mediation, spirituality, faith, yoga.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Tears are cleansing. Give yourself
permission.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Appreciate your efforts and do not hold on
to guilt.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">- Maintain a sense of
humor. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">My intentions are good but unfortunately I do
not do all of these things. Some areas I prefer over others. Caregiving is becomes
stressful and has challenges. It is a constant check and balance procedure. Normally,
I understand why I am not working on an area and the underlying reason.
Being aware and not giving up is essential when caring for you. </span><br />
<div style="border-image: none;">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Caregivers
- Each day do something especially for you. "Reach
for Your Special Rainbow" - whatever that gift may be and cherish
it. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span><br />
<div style="border-image: none; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<a href="mailto:glindaofoz@comcast.net"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">glindaofoz@comcast.net</span></a></div>
<div align="center" style="border-image: none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.reachforarainbow.com/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">www.reachforarainbow.com</span></a></div>
<div align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";">Designated Caregiver – Resource Manual
</span></i></b></div>
<div align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";">For The Caregiver “On Call 24/7”</span></i></b></div>
<div align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";">To order – call or send e-mail</span></i></b></div>
<div align="center" style="border-image: none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<a 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v:shapes="Picture_x0020_1" width="200" /></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"> </span></i></b></div>
<div align="center" style="border-image: none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"> </span></i></b></div>
<div align="center" style="border-image: none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"> </span></i></b></div>
<div style="border-image: none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"> </span></i></b></div>
<ol>
<li><div align="center" style="border-image: none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"> </span></i></b></div>
</li>
</ol>
Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-56918391732201151412014-02-03T21:44:00.001-08:002014-04-28T19:24:34.955-07:00Welcome to the Sandwich Generation in a Multigenerational Family! <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As Christina and
Edward sit in their family room drinking coffee and eating bagels enjoying the
quiet of the early morning hour. This is their private time to talk and make plans
for the day ahead. Even though they have weekly family meetings, they make sure
to double check the schedule for the day with their morning time together. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As Christina took a
bite from her bagel, she said, “We have about an hour of quiet time before the
gang wakes up.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Okay. Francine and
Jackson are taking the bus to school but Francine has basketball practice
afterward until 4:30. Jackson is taking the bus home but he has hockey practice
at 4:00. Got it covered with Terry’s Dad. I’m pickin’ up about 6:00.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“I’m takin’ your
Dad to Adult Day Care and will pick him up at 5:00. I have to get him there before
time because I have an early morning meeting. I’ll run by the school and pick
up Francine at 4:30 and be able to get Art by 5:00.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Taking a sip of coffee,
Edward said, “I’ll get Jackson from hockey on my home. My mom’s set for today
so she can make dinner.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“I have the meat in
the refrigerator and everything else on the counter for her.” <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With a smile on his
face, Edward said, “We’re done just in time because I hear the refrigerator
door opening. Has to be Jackson!” <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In 1981 Dorothy Miller, a social worker, coined the term <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sandwich generation </i>for people middle
age who provide support to younger and older family members yet do not receive reciprocal
support in exchange. They are sandwiched between two generations. The sandwich
generation is a group of adults usually ranging in age from 40 – 59 that care
for their aging parents along with dependent children. In some cases they are
making plans for retirement, considering the cost for college or vocational
school, and assisting with their parent’s needs. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The U.S. Census Bureau defines a multigenerational household
as a living arrangement in where three or more generations share a housing unit.
They are usually grandparents, parents, and children living in the same home.
Since the 1990’s there has actually been an increase in multigenerational
living and the trend is expected to continue in that direction. In some
countries it is customary. Some do it out of necessity; others make the
decision out of choice. Whatever the reason, many families find benefits to
this lifestyle. According to Pew Research, 22% Hispanics, 23% blacks, 25% Asians,
and 13 % whites live in multigenerational households. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Laura and Paul Paltyl, both in their mid-40’s and members of
the sandwich generation, live the life of a multigenerational household. With
six children, their home becomes crowded at times. However in 2003, the couple
invited Laura’s parents to live with them when her mother became ill with
congestive heart failure and stroke. Then a few years later Paul’s father who developed
Alzheimer’s disease, moved in with the family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To accommodate Laura’s parents, the couple added a 1,500
square-foot suite. The addition included - kitchen, handicapped bathroom,
bedroom, office, family room, screen porch, and workshop. They contributed to
the cost for the home modification when they sold their home. This was an ideal
situation. The parents had their independence and privacy but were still close
by. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Co-residency can
actually enhance the lives of everyone in the family by keeping lines of
communication open. It can promote a sense of well-being, provide a feeling of
belonging, assist teenagers moving into adult years, and ease up household
tasks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Financial</b> – The cost of living,
especially housing, makes it cost effective for families to move in together.
Child or elder care costs can be reduced or eliminated. A youth may need to pay
off student loans, an elder might have used up most of his savings, and it will
help the sandwich generation member because bills are under the same roof.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Situational</b> – Unemployment, divorce, or
military deployment of a spouse may necessitate moving in with parents or children.
Widows or widowers may seek companionship. Young parents could have demanding
jobs that require long hours and travel. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cultural</b> – In certain cultures, multiple
generational housing is a common and natural way of life. They feel it is a way
to stay connected, share their heritage, and holidays. They also believe it is
beneficial for youth to learn from their elders.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></b><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Suggestions for
attaining success</b>:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Keep lines of communication open -</b> Discuss
in advance the expectations from everyone involved prior to moving in. Let them
know how important it is to have ongoing communications even when there are
disagreements. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Set-up a written household agreement </b>of
expectations so that each person understands the complexity of the
multigenerational lifestyle. Put as much on the table prior to each person
moving in so that it is a smooth transition. Refer to - Coordinate
expenditures- regarding someone not able to sign.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Establish guidelines for finances – </b>Prior
to any member moving into the household, set up their household financial
contribution. If you let people know this upfront along with other expectations
and responsibilities, then they can decide if they want to move in. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Coordinate</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">expenditures</b> by creating individual and shared household budgets.
Establish who will be responsible for each bill and how it will be paid. Will
there be a family checking account where all bills are paid? Does one person
pay the bills and everyone else is responsible for either giving that person
the money or depositing the funds into the family checking account? Families
can usually conquer most disagreements except money issues! Money often times
destroys family relationships. Make sure everyone approves – it is in writing –
and each party signs the agreement. If you have a loved one who will be
contributing but cannot sign because of medical conditions or dementia, discuss
how to handle this situation. If another member is Power of Attorney, have that
person sign for them. If that is not the case, come to a family agreement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Establish boundaries</b> in regards to
privacy, personal needs, parenting roles, and the hours a member keeps. When a
family member leaves, let someone know and approximate time they will be home.
They could also have a cork or chalk board where members could write
notes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Set up regular</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">family meetings</b> in order to ensure continual communication. If
concerns arising, arrange for a mini-meeting between the scheduled ones so
problems do not escalate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Create private</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">space</b> and time to insure your home is ready for sharing. Some
families look for a home to suit their needs while others look into remodeling
their existing home if it is necessary. Set up schedules especially if people
are working and going to school. Trying to share one or two bathrooms with
several people at the same time presents a challenge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Allow all family</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">members</b> individual and sharing time. Then respect their private
time. If your daughter has the afternoon for some respite time, don’t call her
when she is out with a friend because her son won’t to take his afternoon nap.
Learn to handle the situation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take advantage</b> of having your families
living together. Think back to the time when families ate together on a regular
basis. Perhaps that is not practical because of work schedules but families can
figure out one day every week or two to gather for a meal together. If meals
don’t work, pick a pizza or sandwich night.<span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do not make assumptions</b> Do not say to
your father, “I thought you were going to ……” Or say to your son, “I thought
for sure you would …….” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have the written</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">agreement</b> reviewed every three to six months depending on the needs
and changes of your family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Family member with pets –</b> Any members with
pets takes responsibility for their care. If someone wants a pet, it must be
agreed upon with the family. However, if the member of the sandwich generation
already has pets they are exempt because they own their home. It is for people
moving into the member’s home. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In order to encourage a healthy structure, you need a plan.
Think of your home as a mini-company where you have weekly meetings. Set up a
place each person can write down agenda items important to him or her. Then on
your designated meeting date, discuss those topics. You may even decide to
elect a president, vice-president, secretary, and treasurer. However prior to
setting up regular meetings, establish responsibilities for each person.
However, you are working within the framework of a family, so also remember
flexibility is also extremely important. People must be responsible but we also
need to be understanding to their concerns and work with them. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Guidelines for weekly
meetings</b> –<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Calibri;">M<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">ake sure you can hear each other. Reduce or
turn-off background noise such as televisions or stereos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If someone has a hearing loss, speak clearly and directly to him.
You could also have someone sit next to him and take notes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Only allow emergency telephone calls and refrain from texting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Set time limits for each person – perhaps you can use a timer until
everyone becomes accustomed to working within a structured meeting. If
that does not happen, make the timer a part of your meeting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let each person complete his comments before the next person
speaks. Be respectful of the person talking. If you do not agree with the
person speaking, call a time-out but do not allow walking out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Stay focused on your topics. Do not digress to other topics.<o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Respect each other’s opinion even when they do not agree with your
own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If your loved one has difficulty because of his medical condition,
the family should be patient. If he has early stages of dementia, he
should be part of the group because it keeps him involved and his mind
active.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Share expectations with children who return home, children already
living at home, and your parents. Everyone in the family should
communicate their views.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have a rotating assignment sheet with tasks for the family to
accomplish each day/week and keep it in a visible place such as on the
refrigerator door. <o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Discuss money issues</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">that involve everyone</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If it is necessary to miss a week, be ready for the next.
Make this a consistent, ongoing part of your family’s life. Arrange the
meetings around the time when everyone is home. However, if someone called into
work, take special time to discuss the meeting with that family member and
share the notes with that person. It will be impossible for every person to
make it every week. Discuss the most effective method that will work for your
family when someone must miss a meeting. Have a note taker recording the
minutes and then include them along with the agenda at the next meeting. If
your loved one has difficulty with his vision, use larger font when his copy is
printed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">With the increase of young adults 18-31, the millennial
generation, moving back home or never leaving their parent’s home, this trend
is more likely to increase. Most elderly cannot afford the cost for nursing and
assisted living facilities. And some are no longer able to live on their own. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also with the cost of medical expenses, often
times their social security and medicare does not cover costs and their
children pay the bills. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many young
adults are in debt from the cost of student loans; they cannot afford to live
on their own.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Challenges<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When your 30 year old college graduate son moves back
because he was laid-off from his engineering position and his new job pays
substantially less and your parents moved in six months ago because your father,
with his arthritis, was getting too weak to handle all the maintenance at their
home. You still have a 25 year old daughter at home with her five year old son.
You think about all the wonderful times you and your husband have with your
family living with you. But then there are plenty of challenges to consider. It
may take months to adjust to multigenerational living. Some members may not
adjust very easily to living in a multigenerational home. That is why
communication and the weekly meeting are so important. Emphasize to the family
the importance why each person moved back to the family home. As long as
members respect boundaries and cooperatively help each other, the
multigenerational households will be successful. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Rewards</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Families have discovered the rewards of living together.
Sharon Niederhaus and John Graham point out parents of young children may
receive help with child care from grandparents. Grandchildren obtain the gift
of time, love, and attention from their grandparents. Grandparents benefit
because they receive emotional gratification through frequent interaction with
their grandchildren and from the responsibilities of assisting them. Studies
have shown positive outcomes for older adults who interrelate with children
including less depression, taking better care of themselves physically, and
reporting a sense of purpose. In addition, children are less likely to be
apprehensive around older adults or stereotype them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Taking Care of the
Sandwich Generation Member<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a member of the
Sandwich Generation, you may not be taking care of yourself. You may feel like
you do not have enough time in your schedule for household needs, in addition
to caring for the generation above and below you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">- Put yourself first. If you don’t take care of yourself,
you won’t be able to care for anyone else. Schedule time for exercise, social
time with friends, eat balance healthy meals. Get enough sleep and drink plenty
of water. Making yourself a priority, will give you the strength needed to
handle all your responsibilities.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seek help from
others. Communicate with siblings and other family to let them know what is
going on. Make a list of the things you would like help with and be specific. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may need to
take time off from work to take your parent to a medical appointment. Your
husband can’t pick up your father from Adult Day Care next week. Talk to your
employer about your situation. Let him know about your caregiving
responsibilities. An employer cannot help unless they know what is going on.
With 43 million caregivers in the U. S., you probably are not the only person
in the company caring for a loved one. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Laura Paltyl sees her children kindhearted toward their
grandparents and other older people. Also, her parents have been able to share
in their grandchildren’s happiness, sorrows and life activities. She feels she
will see the benefits throughout the kid’s lifetimes. Families in
multigenerational homes have built-in, sounder, mutually favorable
intergenerational relationships. Grandparents and older family members can be
central in a young person’s life rather than someone they see occasionally for
afternoon visits and holidays. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Resources <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Share of Young Adults Live in Their Parents’ Home </span><a href="http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/08/01/a-rising-share-of-young-adults-live-in-their-parents-home/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/08/01/a-rising-share-of-young-adults-live-in-their-parents-home/</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
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<br />Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-30441334654797022982013-11-01T21:31:00.000-07:002013-11-04T11:32:25.867-08:00Are Your Affairs In Order?<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: red;"><em>Do you feel like you are living each moment of your life to the fullest? Do you appreciate your loved ones and the blessings that surround you? Do you have all of your affairs in order?</em></span></strong> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In January 2013 Valerie Harper was told she had terminal metastatic lung cancer. She remembers being terrified thinking she would not be here to see her daughter get married. But then she was able to focus on the practical matters - getting her affairs in order with her husband, Tony Cacciotti of 26 years. Her husband shied away from discussing the topic. His parents were born in Italy and he saw far too many people die, including his own brother, displayed in caskets in their living room. Because of those experiences, he doesn't go to funerals.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After some coaxing, Cacciotti agreed to see a lawyer to draft wills and health care directives. At that time, Valerie told her husband she wanted to be cremated - something he was not prepared to hear because he always thought they would be buried next to each other. According to Valerie, "The body is just a rooming house." He never considered cremation for his wife. Cacciotti explained his reluctance, "I wanted to be buried next to her." Over their marriage they did not discuss "what will we do when this happens?" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thankfully they had the opportunity to make plans, but Valerie and Tony waited until Valerie was diagnosed with cancer to make their plans. They didn't know what the other wanted because throughout their 26 year marriage, they didn't discuss the topic. Valerie didn't tell Tony she wanted to be cremated - pretty serious to be left until a person has such a serious medical condition. But she thought like many of us, she had a lifetime ahead of her. Her husband needed time to adjust to a plan that was so different than he had envisioned. He always thought Valerie would be buried next to him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In regards to Valerie's attitude toward life, she feels people should 'live moment to moment to moment.' 'You should live in the joy of life, not worrying about the future.' She doesn't think about dying. 'I think about being here now.' Valerie has defied the odds. Doctors gave her three to six months and it is already November. Valerie looks at it this way - every day she is optimistic that she can have one more holiday, maybe two or three! "Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Valerie!" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Have you considered long term care insurance? You may want to discuss it with your customer service rep at your bank or financial advisor. With this protection, most alternative housing and care is partially covered. Since costs and reputation vary significantly, investigate completely before deciding on a company. Research the companies you are interested in doing business. Some will not accept a person with a pre-existing condition such as heart disease or a combination of another medical condition like - seizure disorder, lupus, or obesity. If they do accept you, they may charge a very steep premium. Not all companies and policies are created equally. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Have you examined your life? If the doctor told you tomorrow you had two months to live, would you have everything taken care of for yourself and your family? Would you wait for a crisis situation? Decisions should be made when you can make them with a clear mind and rationally. If you are married or have a partner, and both intend to set up a plan, discuss and write down all the things you want to discuss prior to the meeting so there are no misunderstandings later or in the lawyer's office. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Consider searching out an Elder Law Attorney within your area to set up your plan - </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The following should be included with your Estate Planning -</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">General Durable Power of Attorney</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Durable Power for Health </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Living Will</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Last Will and Testament </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To find an Elder Law Attorney check out:- <strong><u>Find a Elder Law Lawyer - National Elder Law Attorneys - <a href="http://www.naela.org/">www.naela.org</a>.</u></strong> Before you make your appointment, make sure you find out the general cost for his services. Consider calling a couple to compare services and costs. Once you meet with your lawyer, make sure you are comfortable with him. After he completes your Estate Planning, be satisfied with the plan. In general, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">review your Estate Planning every couple years in case there are any changes or revisions. A follow-up appointment with your lawyer is advisable so he can review your planning for any possible changes and/or updates. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Estate Planning is something some may not want to face because we think it means the end of life. Look at it as protecting our loved ones and making life easier for them when we pass on. Often times, we do Estate Planning for the people in our lives who we care about. For example Tom may have a cottage he purchased prior to his marriage and he never put his wife, Kelly Ann's name on the Deed. If Tom doesn't have a will, or quit claim deed, Kelly Ann may not inherit the cottage if he has a sudden heart attack and dies. Even though the two were married for 19 years, the cottage could end up going to Tom's estranged, son Barry who he has not seen in 8 years. This situation could be avoided if Tom set up Estate Planning. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you do not have the funds to cover the cost for an Elder Law Attorney and decide you want to do your own planning, you can purchase forms on the Internet - Power of Attorney, Durable Power of Attorney for Health, Living Willing, Last Will and Testament. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Embrace life with passion. But while you are doing it, think about your planning. What do you have in place when the time comes if you become ill and when you pass away? </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Valerie Harper</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW4zl8Y-yIwzHl_95RGl7HZUHbg43qBm3Sn3JApftD9CI05y4CXXFTqI7Oz8ex8qNf9iU0QESPgCqvbqtNxveGq962U9wcYhhlIGDmM6fSAvm7GE3GgJbklsB8BO9c3ZdLyL01X9WCj9Aw/s1600/valerieharper-tonycacciotti-340x44010.31.2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW4zl8Y-yIwzHl_95RGl7HZUHbg43qBm3Sn3JApftD9CI05y4CXXFTqI7Oz8ex8qNf9iU0QESPgCqvbqtNxveGq962U9wcYhhlIGDmM6fSAvm7GE3GgJbklsB8BO9c3ZdLyL01X9WCj9Aw/s320/valerieharper-tonycacciotti-340x44010.31.2013.jpg" width="247" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Valerie Harper Tony Cacciotti </td></tr>
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October/November 2013 AARP Magazine <br />
A Fearless, Funny Finale - Valerie Harper by Meg Grant <br />
aarp.org/magazine <br />
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March 6, 2013 - Michael Rothman <br />
Valerie Harper Diagnosed With Terminal Brain Cancer - ABC News <br />
abcnew.go.com/blogs/entertainmentCecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-89336359496967369572013-10-28T20:57:00.000-07:002013-10-28T20:57:36.289-07:00Watching Over Our Loved Ones <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Consider how you would feel if you entrusted a long term facility to care for your loved one. Over the past four years, your loved one lived with you. But her medical condition declined and she fell several times resulting in calls to 911 for assistance. Despite your mixed feelings, her doctor told you your mother needed 24 hour care. After spending several weeks searching for a new home, you are quite sure Rolling River is the right match. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rolling River was clean and the staff helpful when you took your tour. They had a good ratio resident to staff and lunch was good. When you walked down the hall, the admission director knew the residents names. The costs was within the same range as other places you visited but this facility had a 5 star rating by the state and the rooms were larger. After review of all information, you believed Rolling River was the best choice. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For several weeks, your parent had difficulty adjusting to her new "home". You received calls at midnight a couple times a week because she was crying and wanted you to visit her. Finally by the fourth week, Sandy, the rec director, convinced her to play Bingo, attend movies, and eat meals in the dining room. Your parent was more content. She was meeting people and enjoying herself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You are finally taking deeper breathes and relaxing - hasn't happened in a long time. Then you get a phone call from Pauline, Social Worker, and you have a feeling it isn't good news. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Joanna, this is Pauline Scott, from Rolling River calling for your mother, Hilda Mayfield. Not an emergency. Your mother is upset but otherwise okay."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"What happened?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"We recently hired a CENA's and she was caught stealing from several residents. A nurse found the CENA in your mother's room. Caught in her purse taking out money and a charge card, then stuffing them in her pocket. When the nurse checked both pockets, the nurse found your mother's watch, two bracelets, and two necklaces. The police are here now investigating."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Joanna told Pauline, "I'll be right over."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Joanna rushed to the care facility to help see her mother. For four years, she kept her mother in a safe environment. Within a couple months of having Joanna's mother in a care facility, her mother was a victim of a robbery. Pauline apologized to both Joanna and her mother numerous times. She explained in the 20 years she worked at Rolling River, this is the first incident of stealing by an employee.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"That was a very brave nurse who caught her. She even called 911 while she was in the room with the woman and Hilda. The CENA cooperated and no one was hurt. Think she was embarrassed. Do you how much money your mother had?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Look inside the zippered lining. I kept her money in a envelope with the dollar amount. Whenever she spent money, I deducted that amount. I asked her not to spend money unless I was present. She had $57. I didn't want her having the checkbook, charge and money but she insisted. Told me it helped her feel independent. Now look what happened." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Remember when the Admission Director, Elizabeth, told you and your mother about leaving valuables in the rooms? We prided ourselves on never having a robbery, but we are also realistic. If a resident doesn't have things of value, it cuts down the chances he will be a victim of this type of elder abuse. We care about our residents and do not want anything happening to them. Perhaps now you will be able to convince your mother to let you take the checkbook and charge home and leave a small amount of money. Bring her a change of jewelry once or twice a week."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I do remember Elizabeth telling Mother and me about valuables. But then she put up such a fuss when she moved in it was my way of calming the waters. I thought once she settled in, I could convince her to give them to me. But she wouldn't give them up. I should have had Elizabeth come in for a talk. Was getting frustrated, gave in. Should have been stronger. Then it wouldn't happened."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Don't blame yourself for the actions of this employee. She stole from your mother and other people. Our other social worker, Ken, may be able to help your mother work through this incident. We do not want her to feel like a victim. She trusted her CENA."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Thanks. I'll come by your office in a couple days for a status update. I'm going to see my mother. Want the nurse to help Mom into bed. She could use rest."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">"Sounds like a good idea. She's been through an ordeal today."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hopefully, you or your loved one will never have to endure an experience of robbery. Be proactive. If your loved one resides in a care facility, make sure there is nothing of value in his room. If he insists on keeping his checkbook and charge cards, then set up a meeting with the admission director. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stealing is a form of abuse to seniors that sometimes does not get reported because the elderly person, trusts the person who steals from them. Sometimes it is a friend, caregiver, or their child. They might trust them with their charge card, check book, or cash. Then these people victimize trusting elderly seniors. As caregivers we cannot always protect our parents but we can have talks with them about elderly financial abuse. Whether your loved one insists on keeping her checkbook, and charge card, or passes them on to you, have an online account so you can monitor them every few days. You cannot stop abuse from happening but preventative measures is a step in the right direction. </span> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-86014244275546369852013-08-01T07:27:00.000-07:002013-12-16T22:50:39.506-08:00Caregivers - Take Care of Yourself <div align="center">
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<strong>A Prayer for the Caregiver </strong></div>
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<strong>By Bruce McIntrye </strong></div>
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Unknown and often unnoticed, you are a hero nonetheless, </div>
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For your love, sacrificial, is God at his best,</div>
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You walk by faith in the darkness of the great unknown, </div>
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And your courage, even in weakness, gives life to your beloved.</div>
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You are resilient, amazing, and beauty unexcelled, </div>
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You are the caregiver and you have done well! </div>
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Caregivers, you deserve recognition for your tremendous contribution to families and society. You are the silent heroes and heroines. In order to give the best care possible to your loved one, you must take care of your needs. So often, caregivers take a backseat to the wants of the care recipient - this may work for a short term but not for the long run. </div>
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Learn to be proactive. Caregiving is a delicate balancing act so you need to continuously be prepared. What are some practical methods? </div>
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- Use a 'Sphere of Influence' - You care for your parent, friend, or spouse, from a sphere of influence. The people who influence your loved one may be you, your sister, Angela, and her husband, Peter, and their doctor, Michael Wildwood, D.O. Then you have influence from others such as your husband Christopher, your daughter, Juliana, and son, Auri, your family internist, Marshal Nordstrom, M.D. and your mom's best friend, Lily. As you care for your love one, you gain knowledge from others and the sphere continues. And think about all the people who gain information from you and all the people we mention in this group. Consider using your 'sphere of influence' by tapping into resources around you and passing them on. </div>
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- Want to relieve tension? Sit in a rocking chair and rock away your troubles. People hold babies rocking them in their arms to console or help them fall asleep. My grandmother spent countless afternoons relaxing in her rocking chair. </div>
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- Exercise lifts your spirits and energy. Start off slow and increase gradually moving to an amount of time that is comfortable. However, consider meeting with your doctor for an evaluation prior to starting an exercise routine.</div>
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- Open up the blinds in the morning and switch on the lights. Light helps us feel more alert than dark. </div>
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- Eat healthy breakfasts high in fiber, fruits, and vegetables. Avoid fat-free because some people crave more food after eating rather than choosing low-fat. Stay away from fast food. If you do go, check calorie content prior to ordering. </div>
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- Comfort foods may taste good - they decrease stamina. </div>
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- Respite is not a gift. Learn to ask others for help. If you do not have anyone, develop a plan. Even if you find someone for two hours every other week, that is a start.</div>
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- Stay connected by calling friends and family on a consistent basis. </div>
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- Other caregivers understand. They live what you are going through. Join a support group - whether it is one in your community, online or both.</div>
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- If you start feeling depressed, seek out professional help. </div>
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- Some places of worship have programs and also people you can talk with. With many, you do not need to be a member to participate.</div>
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- Maintain physical health with medical and dental appointments. Take medications and supplements as recommended by your health care provided. </div>
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- Contact Area Agency on Aging - learn about services in your community. Look for local resources for caregivers. </div>
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- Consider Adult Day Care Centers and In-Home Caregivers. </div>
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- Take warm baths. Or go in a room, close the door and read or listen to music for 20-30 minutes. </div>
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- Find something that brings you peace whether it is mediation, spirituality, faith, or all of these. </div>
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- Tears are cleansing. Give yourself permission.</div>
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- Appreciate your efforts and do not hold on to guilt. </div>
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- Maintain a sense of humor. </div>
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I would like to say I do all these things because I don't. Caregiving is not easy. It is a constant check and balance. I usually know when I need to work on an areas. And I know if I am having difficulty then there is an underlying reason. Being aware and not giving up is key to taking care of yourself. </div>
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Caregivers - Each day do something especially for you. "Reach for Your Special Rainbow" - whatever that gift may be and cherish it. </div>
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Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-70066044896088014012013-07-05T22:07:00.000-07:002013-07-05T22:07:27.155-07:00Accommodating the Accommodations <br />
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<strong>ACCOMMODATE - TO PROVIDE FOR, ADAPT, ADJUST, MAKE AN ADJUSTMENT</strong><br />
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If someone mentions accommodations for our loved ones, we might think along the lines of bathroom modifications or wheelchair ramps. However, an accommodation does not necessarily need to be complicated. Your loved one was having difficulty walking over several months. When you made an appointment with her internist, he referred you to an orthopedic specialist. After an examine and an MRI, the doctor determined your mother's lower back had severe arthritis. To accommodate or make and adjustment for your mother, the doctor prescribed a walker with wheels to take the stress off your mother's back and legs along with mediation to help control the pain. <br />
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Have you ever thought of all the times you have tried to figure out how you were going to accommodate your loved one? And every time you thought "It's not going to work." It does. You don't know how you will ever manage to get your dad to go with you for Sunday dinner. He doesn't like to go and usually comes up with an excuse to cancel. This time you thought fast. You brought along your daughter, Lucinda, to pick him up. When he saw his grandbaby, your dad had a huge smile along with tears streaming down his face. Then she went up to him with a hug and held his hand. He couldn't resist his granddaughter. Your little girl was the accommodation you provided for your dad to lift his spirits. After you thought about it, you realized your dad needed more accommodations or adjustments like Lucinda to brighten his life. You want your father over for dinner on Sundays and realized he stopped going to church when he stopped driving. Your wife and kids all overwhelmingly supported the idea of taking your dad to church and then having him for the afternoon. This adjustment changed your father's life. He had something very special to look forward to every week. <br />
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<strong>Pop and Lucinda</strong> <br />
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When my mother goes out, she goes with my husband, Jack and me, in my Escape. She likes the car because she is able to get in and out of it. She uses a wheelchair, and she is able to stand just to transfer to get in the car, on the edge of the seat and then push herself all the way up. I had a Taurus X and when I traded it in, I had to purchase another car with seating height similar to accommodate my mother. I told my sales rep, Brent, who I have been working with for about 15 years, that we needed to find a vehicle that my mom would be able to get in. We went through all the cars and checked them until be decided on my silver Escape. Every time we pick up my mom, she tells me what a pretty color and how comfortable the car is for her. So taking the time and having a patient sales rep., like Brent, I was able to find a vehicle, to adjust to my mother's situation. <br />
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Elena worked as a legal assistant for twenty years until she was diagnosed with MS. She had to take a medical retirement because of the severity of her condition. Her husband, Peter, worked as an electrical engineer, and averaged ten hour work days. That meant there were evenings Elena did not see Peter because she was already in bed. Finally Elena asked Peter to make some adjustments to his schedule. They figured out what days he could leave earlier and finish his work at home. He talked to his manager about leaving work at 4:30 instead of 7:00 three days a week with the agreement he would finish any assignments at home. This accommodation with their schedule worked. Peter and Elena were able to go out for dinners and spend time together.<br />
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As caregivers, we are continuously thinking of creative ways for making accommodations. You can go the traditional route of reading an accommodation book but you may be overwhelmed by chapter two. Instead watch, talk with, listen to, and learn all you can from - other caregivers, employees working for home health agencies, individuals in the medical and mental health field, people in the rehab field, and your loved one. Research information about accommodations on the internet. Check out the accommodation website - JAN. Share your ideas with others. Then when you take out your accommodation books, you will have a better understanding. The books give us wonderful examples and information especially if you are doing a modification. But it's fun to come up with 'out of the box' accommodations and share them with others. That's how we all learn. <br />
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<br />Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-16097408458482542182013-05-30T21:39:00.001-07:002013-12-16T22:58:00.422-08:00Mickey's Anniversary<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Mickey -</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">No matter how many years pass, missing you will never change. You were my buddy. I loved hanging out with you and Mom. I treasured our lunches at your house. I came a little early and we talked while you prepared lunch for Mom and me. Then when Mom came home from her job at the elementary school it was all ready and we ate and talk. I spent many happy times with you and Mom. Out of the many days we spent as a 'team', one of my favorite was in February 1991. You and Mom came with me to help select my wedding dress. We went to several places. As soon as I tried on one dress, you both looked at each and we knew that was the dress and I picked it for my wedding. Not too many brides invite their fathers along when they shop for their wedding dress. Having this experience with both of you was one of the most memorable ones I have. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I didn't want you to suffer from your cancer any longer but it was so difficult letting you go. When you told Mom "Peace, Peace", you knew it was time. And I knew also. June 6th is the 8th year of your passing. Despite the years, I continue to miss you. Mom and I talk about you a lot. But then you probably already know that. Mom told me she likes to talk to your sailor picture. Then she looks at your wedding picture and says she doesn't know why you have the white sailor hat on instead of the navy one. Why didn't the two of you have such an important discussion prior to you leaving us?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Daddy - I will love you forever and ever and ever - Ce</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was my father's significant caregiver while my mother was his primary. He was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in May 2004 and passed on within one year. Despite his pain, my dad somehow managed to maintain a good disposition and staff appreciated his upbeat attitude. He went from rehab to hospital back to rehab until he finally spent his last days in University of Michigan - Ann Arbor where he left this world for the next. We don't want to see our loved one suffer but it is sure tough to part from them. And when people tell you that it gets easier over time. Then they never met my dad. For that matter - they didn't meet either of my parents. I have terrific parents and boy could they dance! Jo and Mickey glided across the floor like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. I acquired my love of dancing from them. I started calling my parents Mickey and Jo as a joke many years ago and sometimes think I say it more than Mom and Dad.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">At times I can carry on wonderful conversations about my dad yet other times I become extremely emotional. My dad was 5'7". But to me, he was a giant - a loving, caring, humorous, sensible, incredible giant! </span><br />
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Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-87696254691934315692013-05-08T19:36:00.001-07:002013-05-08T19:36:45.906-07:00Caregiving Two Very Special People in My World - My Parents <h3>
"A Tribute to Two Very Special People in My Life"</h3>
In 2004 I the made the decision to embark on a project that changed my life. My father was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in May that year. After the shock of hearing this news, my life has never been the same. The man who could walk faster than me in any store suddenly spent the rest of his life between hospitals and rehabs facilities. I became my father's significant caregiver and my mother was his primary. All three of us were traveling through virgin territory. We were not only dealing with our personal anger, confusion, depression, and frustration, we were also going through all the procedures with doctors, hospitals, rehab facilities, and billing departments. At times, we became overwhelmed with everything we needed to process. <br />
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Because of all the issues we were experiencing, I decided to create a caregiver manual. I wrote a few pages of the Prologue and brought them to my parents for their input. I also wanted permission because I planned to use examples out of their lives. After I read a few pages, my dad responded immediately. "Of course, honey. That would be great!" At first my mother hesitated but once I started she became a strong advocate. Through the inspiration and guidance of my parents Michael and Josephine Salamone, I created a practical, easy-to-follow manual - <strong>Designated Caregiver - Resource Manual For The Caregiver "On Call 24/7".</strong><br />
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As a result of my research and personal connection with Christine Goldberg, the facilitator from Adult Wellbeing, I emphasized to my readers the importance of becoming involved with caregiver support groups. They are instrumental in helping caregivers maintain emotional balance in additional to gaining a wealth of knowledge from the facilitator and members. With our Canton group, when someone discusses a situation, people offer suggestions and encouragement. This group has thrived because they care and work as a team. <br />
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My father passed in June 2005 and within six months my mother fell and fractured her left femur. She needed emergency surgery. Then in September 2006, she required another surgery for the same leg followed by two more surgeries in 2011. Since 2006, my mother has been in the hospital and rehabs approximately eight or nine times. Within six months of my father's passing, I became my mother's caregiver. My parents cared for me growing up; and it has been an honor to give back just a small amount of what they did for me. <br />
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As a caregiver, my biggest challenge has been to help maintain my parent's emotional wellbeing and keep them laughing. The ability to laugh is a gift from God that helps look at life in a positive, much brighter perspective. I grew up in a home filled with laughter but living with the unknown regarding my parent's medical conditions definitely test my strength. If I Dad was down, I would think of ways to cheer him up. Mom and I spent many 'ten hour days' at the hospital with my father. By that time all of us were exhausted so I would tell Dad, "Okay Mickey, I've been on OT for a couple of hours." He would say, "Well honey, you better go the nurse's desk and fill out an over time form." Then we would both laugh. <br />
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I was extremely close to my father and do not know if I will ever fully get over his passing. Fortunately, I have many happy memories.<br />
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Not only has my mother had to cope with the complications from her medical conditions, she also misses my father--he was her life partner for 60 years. Some days she feels down because she looks at his picture and remembers their life together. I will think of one of Dad's humorous antidotes or something Mom and Dad did together to get her laughing. I started calling my parents Jo and Mickey when I was in my 20's and then it got to point I called them Mickey and Jo more than Mom and Dad. I can usually get a smile from them with "Hey Jo, (or Mickey) what's going on?" When I jump around along with my greeting, adds additional effect. Saying "Hi Mom (or Dad) how are you?" just not the same. <br />
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Last week I greeted my Mom but she was sad that day. It took me about three hours to get her out of her depression. I told her a few funny stories, turned on the Ellen show, and recruited a couple of the aides who I know brighten up my mother's life. We all got my mom laughing and joking around. I was able to breathe easier because she was in good spirits when I left. <br />
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According to Douglas Smith, American's leading hospice expert, young children laugh 400 times each day while adults barely manage 15 chuckles! Laughter is strong medicine for the mind and body, and good for a person's health. And it also has been a wonderful way for me to care for my parents. However, laughter is only one of the many ways I have cared for them. They have all contributed to my parent's well being. <br />
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<strong>PEOPLE WHO LAUGH, HELP BRING</strong></div>
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<strong>JOY AND WELL BEING TO THE WORLD !!!</strong></div>
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<em>This tribute is in the present tense even though my father has passed. However, he will always live in the present for me. </em> </div>
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Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-40477596799667040572012-11-22T01:09:00.000-08:002012-11-22T01:09:21.080-08:00Caregivers, Throughout the Holidays, Take Time for Yourself<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The holidays can be particularly challenging for caregivers especially when there are additional demands placed on an already stressed life. So advice to caregiver - simplify. Even if you are tempted to have a big, traditional dinner, keep it simple. Caregiving takes energy. So allow others to pitch in with meals while you and your loved one are the guests. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- If your loved one is not able to travel, ask family members to visit him for limited time periods and bring dinner to both of your. If you feel like you are being overly bold with this request, think about how exhausted you would be with a house full for a traditional dinner. This way your loved one is able to see relatives but does not over strain himself and you do not exhaust yourself having the family stay for dinner. Most family will be very gracious and understanding. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- If a couple family members visit over the holidays and bring a meal, that would most likely bring joy to your loved one's life because he is seeing his relations. You can enjoy the company of a couple guests along with a dinner. Makes for a pleasant day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Keep relations alive. Take time to have lunch a couple times a month with a friend or two. Pick a favorite restaurant where you can laugh, cry, and have memorable talks. A couple of my friends and I meet at a local restaurant where as soon as I walk in, I have my coffee on the table. We spend a couple hours eating, laughing, and talking all in warm, welcoming surroundings. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Find time several days a week to exercise. Exercise helps your body become physically stronger, improves overall health, and promotes self-confidence. I like to alternate between my Zumba video and going to the gym. My body, mind, and spirit, appreciates both of them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- If you are involved in a relationship, preserve the romance. Cherish your connection so that both of you keep the spark flourishing. My husband and I like to get dressed up and go out dancing. We have our special dinner or breakfasts out together. And we like to snuggle. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Talk about your concerns. Tell others how you feel about being a caregiver and your apprehensions regarding your loved one. I'm involved in a caregiver group. Good place to talk about concerns because I am talking to other caregivers who understand.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- If you decide to change your holiday tradition this year, let your loved one know. He may be upset because he wants the holiday the way its has always been, but explain the reason for the adjustment. You need to take care of yourself. Do not feel guilty and think you need to reconsider your plan. No matter which decision you plan to pursue, stay with the option that is most beneficial for you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Once the Holiday preparations are made, whenever possible include your loved one in activities. Then he will have a sense of the decision making process for the arrangements you are making. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- For anyone who has a loved one in a care facility, your traditions change completely. Nothing will ever be the same. If possible, decorate your loved one's room with holiday decorations. If he likes music, bring in a CD player. If the care facility is including families to join them with their holiday dinner, contact relatives. Perhaps members will want dinner with you and your loved one. Some are free and others charge a nominal fee. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Take special time for yourself each day even if it is only twenty minutes. Read something that interests you. Take a bubble bath. Rent a video or watch a TV show. Spend some time on the computer. Listen to a song from one of your CD's. Spend quiet time. Take a quick nap. I like to read a quick story from Guidepost Magazine. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- If you are a caregiver to your spouse, some of the same suggestions apply depending on the severity of his condition. If he is able to travel on a limited basis, keep to only one visit per day. Since you care for him, you know his stamina. Do not allow him to push the limits because it is a holiday. While everyone else goes on with their lives, both of you will regret that decision the next day. It is better for him to handle a short visit every couple days, than one long visit. Then he may be too exhausted to leave the house for several days. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Remember who you are. Even though you are the primary caregiver, remember your personal goals. Think about what you want that is special. Caregiving for your loved one is the most rewarding gift you will ever receive. But do not give up your own individual aspirations. I enjoy writing. It belong me. I am a member of MetroDetroitCreativeWriters (MDCW). We started the group about eight years ago. When you do something you enjoy, you can be an even better caregiver. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- <strong>Happy Holidays!</strong></span> Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-13371675948396319682012-03-06T16:27:00.000-08:002012-03-06T16:27:52.723-08:00Has Your Loved One Passed on Traits to Your Family's Following Generations?<br><br> When my father entered a room, people naturally gravitated toward him. He had an incredible smile and warmth about him that welcomed people. He also had a great sense of humor and knew how to bring a smile to someone's face when they were down. He was such a positive person, people enjoyed his energy. If he found a person needed help, he was there to offer his assistance. <br />
<br><br>My father was devoted to the people he loved -- especially my mother and his family. My parents were married almost 61 years before he passed in 2006. She was the top priority in his life. He was the best father in the world to me. He emphasized the importance of hope, faith, belief in God, sense of family, desire for my education, love and caring for others. Dad and I had many special talks. At family gatherings, we would find a place to talk. We had a standard joke. I would tell him, "Women talk 50,000 words a day and men 25,000," Then I ask him "Daddy, have you talked your 25,000 words yet today?" He would always answer, "No, not yet." Then we would laugh. <br><br>Children flocked to my father. He reminded me of the Piped Piper. When we were at a family party, he could calm a crying baby. If a child was sad, Dad knew how to cheer him up. One evening my little cousin sat on the couch crying. My dad sat next to her with his arm around her. Within a short time, they hugged, and she was ready to play.<br><br> My father's name was Michael Salamone, and one of his nicknames was Sal. When I was in grade school, the teacher asked me Dad's name. I told her "Sal". As if she did not believe me, she responded, "Your father's name is 'Sal Salamone'?" When I went home, I asked my mother for clarification on my dad's name.<br><br> My niece, Alex, started playing basketball in elementary school and now plays for her college. She began within a short time after her brother, Ryan, passed when he was 23. My husband and I go to a couple of her games each season. One of her games I became extremely excited when I saw her T-shirt. In bold letters - SALAMONE! Aside from being thrilled about seeing Alex play, I received the best gift of the night. When she was called on the floor to play, some of her friends yelled out, "GO FOR IT SAL!" I cried. Her other nickname is Al Sal.<br><br> Aside from her nicknames - Sal and Al Sal, I thought of other ways Alex is similar in nature to my father. She is definitely a people person. She has the same kind of gentleness my father had. When someone needs help or wants to talk, she is filled with compassion. She reaches out to her friends when they need her. Slhe coaches basketball for youth; babysits, and spends times with her nieces and nephews. After a game, I watched a couple students from the grade school hugging and jumping on her. She is so responsive and lets children know they are exceptional.<br><br> Alex is my "Sunshine" because she brings radiance into my life. She sends me texts to tell me she loves me. She likes it when I visit her and loves it when my husband and I go to her games. My dad was the same way. He brought cheerfulness into my life. We had a cottage and he greeted me in the morning with "Morning Glory". He started using this phrase when I was a child.<br><br> Alex is spiritual, has hope for her future, and loves her family and the people in her life. She values her education and wants to obtain a meaningful career. She has a great sense of humor. I seek Alex out for wonderful conversations just like I did with my father and sometimes ask for her advice.<br><br> God passed on to my precious baby girl, Sal, characteristics my daddy, Sal, possessed. Alex, what incredible gifts you inherited from Pa Pa (Sal). And thanks to God through Alex, part of my father continues to live.<br><br> Have your children, grandchildren, or great-grandchildren inherited traits from your loved ones?Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-53918739258673693822011-12-30T02:44:00.000-08:002011-12-30T02:44:25.331-08:00Helping Our Loved Ones Experience HappinessHappiness can be the feeling of spiritual contentment that will carry you through the triumphs and heartaches of life with calm stability, serenity and peace of mind. In some cases, happiness affects our attitudes. However, we all have things happen throughout our lives but we have the power to make our own response to those situations. Happiness is a potential positive decision. <br />
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According to Douglas Smith, America's leading hospice expert and Director of Kanawha Hospice in Charleston, West Virginia, young children laugh <b>400</b> times a day while adults barely pour out <b>15</b> chuckles! What an unfortunate contrast. Most often our loved one would prefer a smile and upbeat attitude when we are with them to a negative depostition. Smiles are contagious. Even if your loved one is not responsive to them, keep smiling. You never know when she will finally respond. We may not think they appreciate what we are doing for them because they are not able to communicate. But if they could they would tell how they feel and that they love a cheerful face. <br />
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Bring humor into your conversations with your loved one. Think about something funny that might have happen. Our loved ones also enjoy talking about their past. Ask them about fun experiences from their lives. You can also bring up humorous incidences when you were growing up. As long as your loved one is able to talk, get her actively involved in the conversation.<br />
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My mother delights in telling others about the many funny experiences at our cottage. Those years were the happiest ones of her life, and when she talks about that time she beams. She enjoys talking about our one cousin who always managed to get himself into mischief. Then she observes as her company joins in her laughter. She will tell me she does not mind being alone but as soon as we have a guest in her home, she is filled with a special glow and shares in lively conversation. <br />
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Laughter relaxes the whole body and relieves physical tension. It triggers the release of endorphins, the bodies feel good chemical - great medicine for both you and your loved one. <br />
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Laughter is strong medicine for the mind and body, and good for a person's health.Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-36374959908847294962011-11-19T01:00:00.000-08:002011-11-19T01:00:22.327-08:00Life is Ever Changing for Caregivers and Loved OnesConsistency is important for seniors. Despite our efforts to keep the lives of our loved one's stable, life is ever changing and sometimes beyound our control. <br />
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Within one week we had three caregivers for my mother. The changes were confusing and a bit upsetting for her. It took a couple of weeks to finalize the caregivers, and we are now working together to establish a routine and become comfortable with each other. We have Jamila on Monday and Wednesday and LaKisha on Friday. <br />
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We hired our first caregiver, Susanna, from Senior Helpers in Ann Arbor, a home health care agency, in May 2010. Susanna and my mother bonded very quickly. She did the assigned duties but then would take on other assignments around the condo without being told. Unfortunately, she became ill and needed to resign from her position with my mother and Senior Helpers in August 2011. The agency searched for staff that had personality traits and a work ethic similar to Susanna. She was in college for nursing, and we told her she would one day make a wonderful nurse because of her caring nature. <br />
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After Susanna quit, a staff member from the company called me to discuss other caregivers. She told me management was concerned about my mother. She explained they were not able to find one person for the whole week but could find two people if that was agreeable with my mother and me. After my mother and I discussed this option, we decided to try give it a a try. <br />
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Even though we needed an adjustment period, my mother and I are very peased with Jamila and LaKisha. Both women have their own unique sparkling personalities. Jamila has a calmness about her that helps my mother relax while LaKisha manages to lift my mother's spirits. But both women know how to get my mother laughing. Without realizing it, Jamila and I have become a comedy act with my mother and she never knows what the two of us will do. It works because we put a smile on her face. If my mother is a little down, LaKisha will look at my mother and say, "My Josephine, I don't like it when you're sad. Now you don't want me to be sad." Then LaKisha pours out her infectious laugh that gets both my mother and me to laugh. <br />
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Fridays is our "fun day out". LaKisha, and I take Mom to the hair salon and then Mom treats us to lunch. Even if my mother is exhausted when she returns home, she is happy after her afternoon outings. LaKisha and I try to make those days as enjoyable as possible for her.<br />
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Both Jamila and LaKisha have a very serious side with my mother and are extremely protective of her. If they even notice a slight change in her medical condition, they will let me know. When my mother becomes anxious, they are incredible in the manner they calm her. My mother has adopted both women and call them her granddaughters. Senior Helpers diligently searched for an appropriate match for my mother. They did not find an appropriate match - they found outstanding matches with Jamila and LaKisha! <br />
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When Senior Helpers recommended both Jamila and LaKisha, I trusted their judgment. After about 1 1/2 years working with this agency, I have developed a special relationship with them. When Susanna quit, my mother and I knew they were considering my mother's best interest before selecting new caregivers. They would not send us one person if they were not a suitable match. Instead, they split the week between two caregivers who they believed were the best candidates. And they found us two wonderful young ladies. <br />
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When you hire a home health care agency, employees alternate. Some quit the position, others need to change shifts, and some caregiver-client personalities are not compatible. Maintain a close relationship with management and other staff so when personnel change you can work together to find a compatible caregiver. You want a team that searches out their caregivers and matches them with their clients. When you first hire a caregiver, contact agency staff weekly for the first month regarding their progress and request periodic spot checks. After a couple months, ask for a caregiver conference. If your loved one is physically, mentally, and emotionally able to handle a meeting, include him. Continue contact with the company on a monthly basis unless a need arises sooner and conferences every six months if you and your loved one decide it is necessary. You can always request a conference whenever you feel it would be befencial. <br />
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Most agencies welcome participation and caregivers who take a committed role in the lives of their loved ones. Work as a team to make the situation a positive, rewarding one for everyone, but especially for your loved one.Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-80110487591318702792011-04-26T18:37:00.000-07:002011-04-26T18:37:57.810-07:00Find Special Places to Take Your Loved OneWhenever my husband, Jack, and I take my mother to an appointment as soon as she gets in the car she wants to know where we going to eat. <br />
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I like to joke with my mother so sometimes I will respond with something like, "Gee Mom, are you sure you want to go out?" Within a matter of seconds, she will say something like "I want to go out. I don't want to go home yet and look at those four walls."<br />
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Jeannie, my mother's caregiver-companion, takes Mom to the hairstylist each week. Once they are done, they go to lunch. Jeannie has also realized the importance of making sure my mother has a full day outing. <br />
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What activities give your loved one pleasure? If you do not know, have a conversation finding places they enjoy going. The following are just a few ideas:<br />
- Visiting friends and family<br />
- Attending worship services<br />
- Going to the local community theaters<br />
- Attending concerts and symphonies<br />
- Going to movies from their era<br />
- Going to humorous or human interest movies<br />
- Setting lunch or dinner dates<br />
- Browing the grocery store or shopping mall<br />
- Attending sports events<br />
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All of us have busy schedules. But we should think about the joy we bring our loved ones when we do something exclusively for them. Many live alone and at times feel isolated. As my mother described her feelings of loneliness - "I don't want to go home and look at the four walls." They may have visitors, yet are not able to leave unless someone takes them. There was a time they were independent but are now dependent on others. <br />
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Think of some ideas and then ask your parent for input. Since my mother enjoys going out to eat, Jack, Jeannie, and I take Mom to restaurants. In addition to her appointment days, we select other times throughout the month for her special outing. <br />
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<strong>What will the special place be for you and your loved one?</strong><br />
- Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-11345942357073050132011-04-12T00:35:00.000-07:002011-04-12T00:35:46.467-07:00Caregiver's Personal Emergency Response System (PERS)Some caregivers prefer having their parents spend their senior years in their own home. They feel it is more emotionally satisfying than other plans such as senior housing, independent or assisted living. Aside from being less expensive, it sometimes brings families closer together. Your loved one can also go to the same church, doctor, and neighborhood activities. Since they live on their own and we are not always able to be with them, we want reassurance they are able to reach help if it is ever needed. PERS helps in that area.<br />
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PERS has three components: a small radio transmitter that can be carried on a belt, in a pocket, around the neck, or as a wrist band; a console connecting to the user's telephone; and an emergency response center than monitors calls. When an emegency is needed - such as medical, fire, or police - the PERS user presses a tranmitter help button, sending a signal to the console (connected to the user's telephone). This causes the console to dial one or more pre-selected emergency numbers. When the center is contacted, the caller is identified, allowing the center to determine the nature of the emergency and notify the appropriate emergency professionals and/or family/caregiver.<br />
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Most consoles are sensitive and in the average size home is able to communicate with the user. When the center hears the user, then the professional team is dispatched immediately to the home. If the user is outside, the PERS have a range between 200-400 feet. Dispatchers are not be able to speak with users and again they send help to the home. In apartments and condos, the range varies. Prior to installing the PERS, test out all range areas.<br />
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In order for the emergency medical professionals to enter the users residence, a lock box is often needed. The company has the combination and gives this information to the emergency professionals at the time of dispatch.<br />
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If the electricity goes out, most PERS have battery back-ups for the unit for several hours. When the power is restored, the battery re-charges. Check with the company regarding how long the battery last if this happens.<br />
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If the user lives in a rural area, it is best to use the sevices that work from a manufactured-based, national center company, enabling service anywhere. The only requirement is telephone availability in that location.<br />
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With PERS, a user can receive daily reminders regarding medication and appointments. Some have accomdations for users, with disabilities such as hearing and visual impariments and mobility challenges.<br />
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Prices for PERS vary with companies. Shop around for competitive pricing, a good service contract without long-term obligation or penalty for cancellation, a user-friendly instruction manual and competent dispatch team. To find a PERS in your area, check out area hospitals, caregiver support groups, home health care agencies, Local Administration on Aging, independent living facilities, and online. <br />
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We can't do everything to keep our loved one's safe. But with PERS, it helps knowing with a push of a button they will receive emergency care.<br />
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Some information for this article was obtained from - Caregiver.com PERS Frequently Asked Questions <a href="http://www.caregiver.com/channels/tech/articles">www.caregiver.com/channels/tech/articles</a>Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4546867167864259756.post-64977290977500417502011-03-16T19:38:00.000-07:002011-03-17T10:19:47.770-07:00Caregiver's Facebook - When Friends and Relatives Write Commitments and CommentsWhen your loved one is sick or in the hospital, facebook is a wonderful method to spread the news to friends and relatives. Then it is interesting to view the different responses you receive. <br />
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- <strong>"Just call me if you need anything." </strong><br />
If a friend wants to help, be specific. "I'm going shopping. Give me a grocery list." "Mom would enjoy a visitor to read to her. Would you be available on a bi-weekly basis?"<br />
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- <strong>"You are doing a great job! You know God doesn't give you anymore than you can handle." </strong><br />
Thank you for the compliment. Please do not tell me God doesn't give me anymore than I can handle because right now I do not feel that way. My mother is very weak and ill. There are days I wonder if I am doing everything for her. I would appreciate one evening of respite time each week. <br />
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- <strong>"I just don't know how you do it all - taking care of your mother, and your family. Must have a great husband." </strong> <br />
In order to care for my mother, it takes a joint effort by my entire family. We all work together and support each other. I hope I am setting an example for my children how to care and respect people when they are not able to care for themselves. And yes, I do have a wonderful husband.<br />
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- <strong>"I know how you feel." </strong><br />
How could you possibly know how I feel? That reminds me when a person tells a friend who is grieving the loss of their loved one the same phrase. I don't always know how I feel because it may change from moment-to-moment and day-to-day depending on the circumstances. Say to me, "Just talk. I'm here to listen."<br />
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- <strong>"Must be hard to care for your mom and keep your job. Hope your employer understands." </strong><br />
At times it is exhausting. I go the my mother's house 3 days a week for several hours and the same on the weekend. I usually take off a couple days a month for mom's appointments. My supervisor is very compassionate. She has a mother with needs but she shares the care with her sister. I love my mother and caring for her is an honor. It's my way of thanking her for the many things she has done for me. You are considerate to be concerned. It would be great if you would help with making a couple meals each week.<br />
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When people respond with these or similar types of messages, they are most likely concerned. Respond in kind and think of ways they can help you. And then thank them for thinking about you and your loved one. Cecelia Salamone LPChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07150267299536992977noreply@blogger.com0